Thursday, September 15, 2011

Kyson Kent

I can't believe it has been 4 weeks since our amazing, precious, beautiful, pretty much perfect dear son Kyson was born. He arrived at 2:03pm on Thursday, August 18th. He was 9lbs. 5oz. and 21.5" long! We got the phone call from our Birthmother's mom about a half hour after he was born. We knew that the doctor had scheduled to break her water that morning, but we had no idea when anything would actually happen. When Kent got home from his half day of work and we still hadn't heard anything, we decided to load up the car and just head to Vernal anyway. It was literally after we'd started the car to leave that we got the call. We knew it was going to happen that day, but still, hearing that he was here was the most incredible, overwhelming, scary, yet magical feeling I've ever experienced. Our son was born! The thought, "You're finally here, my sweet boy" kept running through my head the whole drive to Vernal. And I will tell you, we have been on many, many long road trips together, but that would-be 3 but in reality almost 4 hour drive to Vernal was by far the longest, most agonizing drive of our lives! It did not help that we hit three different sites of major construction that added nearly an hour to our drive. It was so hard. I kept thinking, "I want to be with our son, just let us get to our son." And finally, we did.

We walked through the door to see a room full of people, H's family. H was not in her bed--despite having just given birth a few hours before and having an epidural, she was up walking and in the bathroom. At first I was so overwhelmed by all of the people I saw (7, not counting Kyson and H), I had no idea where Kyson even was. But then suddenly, one of H's brothers was at our side, placing Kyson in my arms. Even a month after that blessed moment, just typing it here still brings tears to my eyes. Our beautiful, dear, sweet son was just perfect. Our little boy, whom I'd dreamed about and seen several times before, was in my arms at last.

We spent about 48 hours at the hospital with Kyson, H, and her family. The hospital and wonderful maternity staff actually gave Kent and me a room to stay in free of charge the entire weekend, and we are so grateful to them for the fact that we did not have to leave our son at night. It was, of course, a long 48 hours given the circumstances. We got to help give Kyson his very first bath in the nursery, which was wonderful. The best part was that he totally pooped in the tub. Loved it! I did not get any sleep the first night there, and at 3am finally woke Kent up and we went for a walk. We ended up timing it accidentally well, as the nurses were just bringing Kyson into the nursery for his vitals, so they let us hold him and stay in the nursery with him until 6am. It was such a wonderful opportunity to hold, feed, and bond with our son. Even being just a few hours old, this sweet little spirit was so good. He really didn't even cry much at all the whole time we were at the hospital.

My mom and sister Katelyn were able to drive to Vernal to be with us on Friday. It was so good to have someone from our family there. Our caseworker did not make the trip out, and H's caseworker didn't come until Saturday around 11am, so it was a little difficult, but we managed.

Saturday, once the caseworker finally arrived, the paperwork and placement actually began. He started by meeting with H and her parents. Then he met with us. We then took a few minutes to speak with H, just the three of us, which was very emotional, but so wonderful. I just have to say that we are so blessed to have such an incredible, selfless, loving, and strong Birthmother. She has from the very beginning had so much faith and we are so grateful to her not only for bringing us Kyson, but also for being so level-headed and strong. We love her and are so proud of her and wish her the very best in her bright future. She will undoubtedly touch many many lives and do great things in her life. We love you, H!

After visiting a few minutes alone with H to thank her ahead of time, we made our way into her hospital room where she, her parents, and Kyson were waiting. Time for placement. My Mom was able to capture the entire event on camera, and Katelyn video taped it for us. The footage is priceless. I don’t think I will ever be able to write anything that would adequately describe placement. When we walked into that room you could immediately feel several things: the Spirit, so much love, and heartbreak. H and her parents were in tears, and the moment we walked in, so were we. H was holding Kyson, who was peacefully sleeping. She had tears in her eyes and she looked so strong, yet so scared at the same time. It was hard to take in all of the emotions in the room. She took a moment to gather her courage, and then she approached me and placed our dear, sweet son into my arms. I knew this would be an emotional event, but nothing could have ever prepared me for the spectrum of emotions and the amount of love and joy and peace that immediately flooded my being. I broke into tears and sobbed with H as she placed that sweet boy in my arms. I could feel her love in her embrace and I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for that sweet girl. The pictures that my Mom took of placement say well what words cannot. You can see in her eyes before she hands him to me the pain, the love, the faith, everything. And then moments later, after she handed him to us, we sat down and gave her our placement gifts. In one of those pictures you can see a new look in her eyes: heartbreak is still there, but so is peace. She told us then that she has always known that Kyson was meant for our family and no one else’s. She was convinced of that and I know that is part of what got her through all of this. We gave her a painting of Christ holding the hand of a beautiful little boy. We gave Kyson a picture book entitled, “If the Savior Stood Beside Me” with the same picture on the cover and told her that Christ has guided Kyson to us through her, and that He would always be there to guide him throughout his life. We also gave her a willow tree figurine entitled “Remembrance.” It is an angel with her hands held over her heart. H is our dear angel on this earth, and we will forever remember her. We gave her and Kyson matching giraffes so she can see pictures of him with it as he grows. We also gave her a copy of my uncle Tamar and aunt Katrina’s CD that has their adoption song on it, and a candle. We gave H's mom a glass block that said “LOVE” on it with the words, “faith, hope, and charity” on it. It was a simple reminder of the love she had to be able to allow H to do this for us. It was such an emotional experience. There is another picture just after this of H with her arm around Kent as he holds our son. It is one of my favorites because I know that H could have kept Kyson and been an amazing mother to him. But she knew that he needed a father—a strong, worthy, Priesthood holder that would help raise him in the Gospel. She saw exactly that in Kent, and I believe he is a large part of the reason that she chose us. After a few more minutes of heartfelt, tearful goodbyes, we made out way out of the room with our dear son.

He is our son. He was placed with us on August 20th, 2011 around 1:12pm. But he has been ours for much longer than that.He has been waiting for the right time to join our family, and he is finally here! Our love for him grows stronger each day. He is such a beautiful, perfect little boy and I strongly believe he is so content largely because he can feel all of the love that so many people have for him. His birth mother and her family love him and he will grow up knowing that that is how they were able to place him with us, and that is precisely why they placed him with us. We love him; oh, how we love him and have for so long. Our families love him and couldn’t be more supportive. Their countless prayers helped us all through that weekend.

Kyson is our miracle. After waiting with faith for so long, being tried and stretched beyond my limits, I have my beautiful son and my heart is overflowing as I hold him and love him and care for him. I thank the Lord several times each day for the tender mercies that brought Kyson Kent Nixon home.  


David and Katie said...

Beautiful and amazing. Tears. We are so happy for you! Congratulations and thanks for sharing! You two will be amazing parents--I am sure you already are! Kyson is blessed to have you two as his mom and dad. :)

The Mormon Monk said...

Ha! He IS my godson--8/20 is the date. We're so happy for you guys!

Krista Emrich said...

Kayla I am just beyond-words-excited and happy for you guys. I'm crying like an idiot reading this. :) I just love you so much and I'm so glad Kyson came to join your family when he did. He is a lucky little man to have you and Kent and his parents. Serious. And I'm lucky to have you guys are friends :) Love and miss you guys!! And super congrats, again :)

Alisa said...

thanks for sharing your story! congratulations kent and kayla!