Duck, Duck...GOOSE!!!

Okay, so I'm here in Texas still with my nieces and I had a really funny experience yesterday. The girls were a little rambunctious, so I decided to take them to the park where they could ride bikes, play on the playground, and feed the ducks at the pond! I've taken them there a couple of times and it's a lot of fun for all of us.

My nieces are actually quite petrified of animals in general, and I've been working hard to teach them to be brave, especially when feeding the "cute little ducks." They've actually made great improvements, and yesterday we were all sitting on a picnic table, throwing bread to about 15 ducks. Among these nice ducks, there was this big old mean white goose. It's actually just bigger than my 3-year-old niece, Megan. As we were feeding them, we kept noticing this goose bullying the ducks, and literally biting them and hanging on while the ducks tried getting away for about ten feet! To make a long story somewhat shorter, I decided this goose had had enough to eat, so I went over and tried to chase it away. I ran at it, stomped my feet, clapped, all to no avail. That goose just looked at me like I was some dumb idiot not worth his time.

Well, that did not go over too well with me. So I decided to lightly "kick" this goose in the beak, to show it who was boss I guess. Well that's when the fun started. That goose looked at me and started hissing and going crazy! It started to lower its head, just like it was going to attack me like one of the ducks.

I looked at my nieces and knew if they saw Aunt Kayla attacked by a goose THIS close, that'd be the end of their brave days as we know it. So I grabbed by backpack (which fortunately had some books in it and was quite heavy), and tried to jog away from the goose. Well, it ran right after me and I decided it would make more sense for me to calmly back up away from the goose. So I started to walk slowly, the goose eyeing me down and following my every footstep.

After about 20 feet of walking backwards, I decided this was getting ridiculous. That goose was attempting to chase me right out of the park! So I stopped. The goose looked at me for a second, then made its attack for my shins. I wasn't about to get pecked in the shin, so I took my backpack and swung it at the goose. He dodged my retalliation, and went at me again. I swung back.

Now this entire time I was laughing like crazy, because this is TOTALLY a predicament my Dad would have gotten himself into! Inside, I was seriously ready to give this goose one good whack and kill it. That goose is mean and dumb and doesn't deserve to "rule" that pond. But there was a group of guys fishing--witnesses--and I didn't really want to kill a goose in front of my nieces.

So, on and on we went, the goose constantly attacking my shins, and me defending my shins and swinging back in response!

After about 30 more feet of this, I was really laughing at the fact that I'd let a goose "chase" me back this far. Of course, I also had the intentions of getting this suicidal goose as far away from my nieces as possible! So again, I stopped. This time I knew it was the end, one way or another.

One last time, I tried to scare that dumb goose away. He looked at me menacingly, hissing all the while, and then, with not much warning, spread its big old wings and flew up about 5 feet--eye level with me--and went for the kill, STRAIGHT FOR MY FACE!!! Luckily I was ready with my heavy backpack. I swung it in front of my face just in time, and threw it as hard as I could at that goose. It made contact, and the goose went down with my backpack, actually, on TOP of my backpack! That goose then proceded to go absolutely crazy on top of my backpack! It was flapping and hissing and kicking and biting at my backpack like it was a ravenous carnivore! I let it have its fit, staying several feet away. After about a minute, I think it finally thought it had won that battle. Haughtily, it dismounted its kill, pridefully looked around (I was not moving an inch at this point), and began to stalk off back towards the pond. I let it get about 20 feet away before I retrieved my poor, defeated backpack. Then, I had to wait for that stupid bird to get past my nieces, who, fortunately had been far enough away at the actual time of attack to be too frightened. I had my nieces sneak off the back of that picnic table and make a run for it as soon as I could.

So there you have it. My day with my nieces at the park. Sometimes you win, sometimes your backback looses. I guess the moral of this story is: don't kick a goose. I should have killed that bird when I had a chance. I look forward to our next encounter. Let it be known that I will be ready!