Showers and Showers

So, as I continue to attempt to make up for oh so much lost time on here, I would like to spend a few minutes on the showers of baby showers I was lucky enough to have over the past month-ish. (Not to mention the oodles of real showers Utah has been getting! It's been raining so much I almost feel like I'm home in Washington! I love it!)

My first shower was thrown by some sweet friends of ours from our ward in Provo. We had this shower back in June, because we were moving to Salt Lake in June and wanted to have it before we left. So at the beginning of June, the showers began:

My "Baby Shower" cupcakes I made...I thought they were pretty fun and cute!

I want to thank Nadine and all of my dear Provo Peak 11th Ward friends for everything. I love you all and miss you so much! We so appreciate all you did for us. We had such a great time that day. I also want to thank our wonderful Birthmother H and her mother and sister for taking the time to come join us at my shower. It meant so much to have you there.

After that shower, H's family had a wedding reception to go to, so H spent the afternoon with us. We went to lunch at Cafe Rio, and went and saw a movie with my brother Ki and sister Katelyn and her husband Steve. That was also the day that Katelyn announced to us that she is expecting! So our little baby boy Kyson Kent (yes, that is what we are planning on naming him!) will have a cousin only 6 months younger than him! Yay!

After our Ward Baby Shower, we embarked on a crazy expedition of moving out/moving most of our stuff into the stairwell between our apartment and the downstairs apartment where our cousins lived, having our three nieces over for a sleepover, and then driving to California to spend a week and a half with Kent's parents, brothers Reed and Rob and Rob's wife Katie...all of this in less than one week! Hence, I will have to dedicate another post to that experience.

At the beginning of July, my mom, sister Lyska, and brother Tyson came out to Utah for a couple weeks of fun. We got to go to the American Idol Top 10 Tour, went swimming, to Raging Waters, played games, etc...and, of course, had more showers!!!

My incredible Aunt Kathy, and cousins Kristin and Renae threw me a shower at Kristin's home for my side of the family. It was beautiful, and so much fun to be there with my family and close friends! Thank you Kathy, Kristin, and Renae--I love you all and just think the world of you! H and her family came into town that weekend for this shower and for the one on Kent's side of the family the following day. It was wonderful getting to spend more time with her and her family, and especially for our families to finally get to meet one another. Unfortunately, both our dad's were missing, but other than that it was fabulous.

The wonderful group!

H's sister helping out with the Nursery Rhyme Jeopardy game!

My grandma, "Oma" in the middle with her sister-in-law and sister: my Great Aunt Sherrie and Great Aunt Bev

The delicious food and adorable "diaper cake" Kristin and Renae made!

Kent and me singing, "Sealed With Love"

BYU Freshman Friends: Krista, me, Amanda, Mandy, and Carley. Friends since 2005!

H and her mom and two sisters

My wonderful sister-in-law Raelene, and Kent's amazing cousins Melody and Deondra were sweet enough to throw me a shower for Kent's side of the family at Raelene's home. It was a beautiful sunny day that day, so we got to have it outside and it was lovely all around. So many wonderful cousins, family, friends, etc. Loved every minute of it!

Kent and me with H at Raelene's

The beautiful outdoor setup of delicious food

Singing our song

H's mom, sisters, my Mom, me and Kent

So, to all of you who were in any way shape or form involved in our showerings of love, THANK YOU! We love you! At both of the showers, Kent and I sang a song we had recently finished writing together about our adoption, entitled, "Sealed With Love." It is simply our love and our feelings regarding our adoption put to music we created together. I will try and record it and put it on here soon.

So, largely because of our dear family and friends, we....are....ready. Well, at least about as ready as we CAN get. We know that once our Kyson arrives, "ready" will fly out the window and be a mere joke forever more. But, we are ready for that! We have had such a wonderful four years of marriage together, and we are so ready to add to the love that is in our home and let the priorities in life change altogether forever. So Kyson, whenever you are ready to come and see what's in store for you, I repeat: We. Are. Ready.

Baby, Baby, Baby, Oh!

My oh my, how far behind I am on the happenings of our lives these days. We have had some extremely major, extremely exciting changes in the past couple months. Let me start with the biggest and most exciting: WE ARE ADOPTING A BABY BOY IN A COUPLE WEEKS!!!!!! Yes, it is true, we have been selected by a loving, wonderful, selfless birth mother who is due August 20^th. We met her and her family in person for the first time at the end of April. It was an amazing experience getting to know them—we feel like we have known them all our lives, and I think we know why. She decided to wait a couple days after meeting us, until our Anniversary on May 4^th (Happy Four Years!) to call us. She started out by wishing us a happy anniversary, and then she went on to tell us that she had decided to place her baby with us. It was the happiest, most wonderful anniversary gift we could have imagined. We will be naming our baby boy Kyson Kent Nixon. Kyson is a combination of my two brothers’ names: Ki (Jakiah) and Tyson.

So…obviously we have much, much more to catch up on, and I will in the next several posts. But now, the meaning for my Blog Title today! Shortly after we were selected by H (for her privacy, this is how we will refer to our birth mother on here), we realized that we probably needed to go and register for baby things. Have you heard Justin Beiber’s song Baby? Well, that was the theme of our registry day. I just have to say that registering for baby things is a heck of a lot more fun than registering for wedding stuff! But before we actually went to Babies R Us, we headed over to F.Y.E. to buy a movie with a gift card that we had there. We walked in, and Beiber was not only playing over the speakers, but he was standing at the door, welcoming us in! Okay, maybe it wasn’t the actual Beiber, but it was a cardboard cutout of him that semi-freaked me out at first. We walked over to him, kind of laughing, kind of making fun of the cutout, kind of fake singing along to his song, when one of the workers at F.Y.E. came up to see if we needed any assistance. One of the first things he said to us was, “You guys look like Beiber fans. What can I get you?” We just sat there and laughed. What the heck does a Beiber fan look like, and do we really look like one? Perhaps you had to be there to truly understand the humor of the moment, but his comment just made our day. So we decided to go with it—today, we are Beiber fans. Baby, Baby, Baby, Oh!

Well, after a successful movie purchase (The Rescuers!) we hopped on over to Babies R Us and just had a clueless blast. Really though, we learned quite a bit in that excursion. Perhaps my favorite thing that we came across while there was in the keepsakes and memories aisle: a “Tummy Cast.” Yes, ladies and gentlemen, they actually have a kit that you can purchase to make a cast of your pregnant belly!!! Haha, I couldn’t stop laughing! So, we decided to come up with different uses for this cast (not that I need one, but still). You could stick it in bed in your place when you get up to feed the baby and see if your husband notices the difference. Or, you could cut wholes in the boobs and stick bottles through them and have your hubby wear it and try and “nurse” the baby. Or you could stick it on your mantle as “modern art.” Or, my very favorite—invite friends over for a party and use the cast of your belly and boobs as a chips and salsa dish! Chips in the belly part, and two different types of dip in the boobs! Now, obviously I am kidding; but seriously people? Who came up with that? And who buys it? We did have a successful time there though. We found the cutest theme for our baby’s room—sports playing jungle animals. We had actually been joking about something like that existing, because we love sports, but animals are so cute too, when all of a sudden we come around the corner and there it is! But it was actually cute, not cheesy like we’d imagined!

Once we made it to the high chairs, strollers, and car seats, Kent and I realized we were feeling slightly overwhelmed, and very hungry. So we decided to go grab a bite to eat. I had been given a $10 gift card to Arctic Circle, so we thought it’d be a good day for that. Have any of you ever noticed though that Arctic Circle and Iceberg are a lot alike? They look alike, have the same colors, and pretty much serve the same food, more or less. Well, I had a blond moment and directed Kent to Iceberg, thinking that’s where my gift card was from. So we went in, and we ordered, and we both got shakes because we figured we could splurge with our gift card. When he totaled us up, I stuck my Arctic Circle $10 on the counter and slid it over to him, still oblivious to my mistake. The cashier looked at it, and then said, “Um, this is for Arctic Circle, you’re at Iceberg.” Wow. I was embarrassed. So, we paid for a meal ourselves and sat down and still enjoyed a great lunch, laughing a little more than usual. Suddenly, over the speakers in the restaurant, a song came on: “Baby, baby, baby, OH!!!!” We were like, “No way!!!” What a theme for the day of our baby registering. It was great. While singing along like the true “Beiber fans” we were that day, we also saw an unforgettable sight: two guys pulling out of the drive through on a motorcycle, the guy on the back trying his hardest not to look too gay, but while holding a shake in each hand. I don’t even know how to fully describe it, but it was hilarious watching him try and balance on the back without really touching his friend, and without spilling our dropping their shakes. Loved it!

So, as you can see, we had an eventfully hilarious day, learning the mere basics of what to expect in the very near future. It was such a fun, care-free day, that all these weeks later, I still remember our Beiber-ific day. I thought of the blog title that day in Iceberg, and I haven’t forgotten it. J We have since had so much happen that I can’t wait to share with you, but alas I will have to do so later, but soon.

Until next time, get up and get your Beiber on…you’ll like it!

Life's Little Miracles

This past week Kent and I had the chance to go up to Primary Children's Hospital to visit a very special new little friend. Our dear friends Shaun and Lanette (whom we were blessed to meet through the adoption process) received their little one last week. The birth mother's due date wasn't until the end of the month, but she came early. Lanette and I had been at a Stake Relief Society meeting with Sister Bonnie Parkin, former Relief Society General President. I met Sister Parkin a few years ago when I was Relief Society President of my BYU ward. She is a gem--her motto is that we as Relief Society sisters are "Charity Chicks." That phrase has always stayed with me. Anyway, that night we got a text from Lanette saying they were on their way to the hospital! Their daughter Iris was born the next morning.

Iris had a few complications and was sent to Primary Children's for surgery. In the meantime, her birth parents signed the adoption papers, and on Monday after I got work, Kent and I got to go up there to meet her. She is an angel. Shaun and Lanette, we are SO happy for you two! You are already amazing parents. It was so special for Kent and me to be able to see how this little baby just belongs in their family. Adoption is an incredible thing and we are so beyond excited for the day when we can bring our little one home!

In this month's Ensign, there is an article on Infertility. If you would like to read it, you can click here. This article is an answer to many of my prayers. I have been praying for some kind of article in the Ensign or in General Conference addressing infertility for a few years now. I have struggled alone for so long with this trial; even though I've had Kent and a few close family members and friends there by my side, I still felt so alone. I know that anyone who has gone through the struggle of infertility knows what I mean. Unless you have gone through it, it is hard to comprehend the pain and the heartache and the grief that you go through. I never lost my faith, but at the same time I felt like others thought I had because I was having a hard time. I have always known we would have children, but that doesn't make the fact that we haven't been able to conceive yet any easier. Anyway, this article is a true tender mercy from the Lord for me. Also, the poem just after the article:

Just The Same

Sometimes—

God sends rain

Straight from the sky

To nourish the young flower

and it grows.

Sometimes—

God sends rain from the sky

To the mountaintops,

Then over hills and through valleys

Until it reaches the flower

and it grows, just the same.

Sometimes—

God sends a child

Straight from His realm

Into a mother’s arms

and love grows.

Sometimes—

God sends a child

From heaven to another’s arms,

Then over hills and through valleys

Until he reaches the arms of his mother

and love grows, just the same.

by Diana Lynn Lacey

This is exactly how we feel. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for allowing us to pass through trials that He knows will help us to become who He knows we can be. I don't know what our future holds, but my love for our future children is already strong, and I know that we will have to opportunity to be parents and to raise our children in love and righteousness. To any of you who may be struggling with infertility, or with anything--you are never alone. With the Savior, you can do all things. 

We're Off to See the Jimmer...

We love March Madness. It is one of our favorite times of year! Kent's family even has an annual bracket competition, with the winner receiving the travelling plaque with their name added to it! We have a lot of fun watching the games and having some mad fun!

Well, for those of you who don't know, one Jimmer Fredette of the BYU Cougars has been the talk of all basketball-dom this season, and for good reason! He is the rockstar of basketball, and he helped take BYU to the Sweet 16 for the first time in like 30 years or something! The night they beat Gonzaga to make it to the Sweet 16, we were watching the game with my brother Ki and one of my best friends Krista. We were all so pumped by the excellent win, that we got to thinking, "How cool would it be to be there?!!? I wonder how much it would cost? Where are the games? New Orleans? How long of a drive would that be...wait, they actually HAVE tickets for a decent price!?!?? LET'S GO!!!!!!!!" And so, on a very spontaneous whim, we bought four tickets to the Sweet 16s and Elite 8 in New Orleans, did some rocky financial guesstimates, and planned our trip! Sadly, a couple days later, Krista had to cancel--but she did get to go see her hubby TJ pole vault for BYU AND visit her family in California! Not to mention she got to fly....good trade! 

The night the madness really started. Plus the fantastic bracket Krista and TJ printed for us!

The March Madness cookies we made one night with Krista!

So the night before we left we scrambled to find a replacement die-hard, semi-crazed Jimmer fan to join our cause. We found Kent's sister, Raelene, mother of 6! Her wonderful husband recognized the once in a lifetime fabulosity of the situation and convinced her to join us in our venture! So last Tuesday night, around 10pm, we embarked on a very long, very long, very roadtrippy roadtrip! Kent and I have made several cross country trips together, and, despite all sensibility, we LOVE them! Something about striving to keep each other awake while jamming out to classics like N'Sync, Tim McGraw, Wicked, Backstreet Boys, and EFY just makes my day. We drove about 20 hours through the night, and arrived at Kent's other sister, Natalie's house around 6 or 7 pm! Despite the long time in the car (Kent drove from 10pm-2am, I drove from 2am-6pm...both very tough shifts) then Ki drove a ton during daylight and Kent and I finished off with a couple shorter shifts, we were SO excited to see our ADORABLE nieces and nephew!!!!! Kent and I spent the evening running outside and "chasing" the girls on their bikes, and playing games with them inside. Then, in honor of old times, my brother-in-law Josh and I busted out the Rockband (last year when Natalie was pregnant with Jake and on bedrest, I spent a month with them helping take care of the girls, and Josh and I ended almost every night with hours of Expert-level Rockband!!! Loved it! We also, of course, enjoyed some one-of-a-kind Blue Bell ice cream....Yum!!! The only down side to this visit was that it was SO short! We love you Natalie and Josh and family and only wish we were closer!!!!!

Our adorable niece Ally singing her Taylor Swift, complete with her own choreography!

So Thursday morning we got up and were back on the road for another 8 hours...destination, the Big Easy! The drive was really fun...scenic and of course, musical. (Did I mention Kent and I LOVE to jam out to music when we are driving?) We got to our hotel (We stayed at a Wyndham timeshare of Raelene's, thank you!!!), checked in, painted up, and headed to the games! I painted a giant "Y" on Ki's chest, with "Jimmer 32" on his back. He, Kent, and I dyed our hair blue, and I put mine up in a sweet awesome cone! Needless to say, we were a sight and people actually asked to take pictures WITH us there...yes, even a couple Florida fans!!! The game was amazing, complete with an overtime! Sadly, we lost it in OT, with the help of some awful reffing, lopsided calls, and an all around off night on our part. But WE MADE IT TO THE SWEET SIXTEEN AND WE GOT TO SEE IT IN PERSON!!!! And thanks to Ki, we even got to ditch our nosebleed seats for a large chunk of the game and sit second row behind the Cougars!!!! Such a fun time! We stayed for the second game, which was a blowout and I really didn't pay much attention to. Ki found solace in someone's leftover fries they left on the ground behind us and declared them his "comfort food." That made my night right there. Ki was able to sell our Elite 8 tickets that night, so we decided to spend the next day in the city, and then head home. Before heading to bed that night, Ki and I went to the hotel's gym to burn off some frustration, and I ran 3 miles at 2am!!

"You got Jimmered!" The road trip crew!

"Jimmmmmerrrrrr....!"

"I made Kent a sign that said, "I quit my job for this!"In honor of him moving on from Craig's Cuts to teaching!!! Go Mr. Nixon!

We are big fans!

So we weren't the only die-hards from the Nixon family! Uncle Clair and his sons John, David, and Tim Nixon, our brother-in-law Josh, and us all met up at the half! We did win the prize for longest drive though!

Blue's the new blond...haven't you heard?

Friday was a fun day. We toured New Orleans and ate some good food, and enjoyed some time by the pool.    The only thing I can say is that should you ever go to New Orleans, AVOID BOURBON STREET AT ALL COSTS!!! It made the strip in Vegas seem mild, and we couldn't get out of there fast enough. After that though we did have fun running around. Kent and I even frolicked a little and did some impromptu swing dancing in public! We also took a few pics with some bums....all for the cause of fun. We got some sweet foot massages at one of those foot places that have the pictures of all your organs located in your feet. Really weird, but felt oh so good! We also were lucky enough to come across the most amazing band of these young jazz banders jamming on the street! They played nonstop for about an hour and were incredible! We also enjoyed the random drunk man dancing to the beat in the middle of the street, haha. We ended the evening with our trolley ride back to our neck of the woods, and a delicious dinner at a favorite that Kent and I had discovered last time we were in New Orleans, called Cheesecake Bistro. SO Delicious! Kent, Ki, and I went swimming that night, then headed to bed early (well, everyone but Ki, who had a boatload of homework!). We got up Saturday morning a 3am and left for our would-be 23, turned out to be 29 hour trek home. 

Skyline view atop our hotel

Posing with the silver man as he takes his smoke/beer break! He made $23,000 last year with his act!

Ki and Kent being "abstract" like the sculpture

Frolicking and whatnot in New Orleans

Music was in the air, so we took advantage. We even got cheered on by passers by!

Note the bums we are trying to impersonate? They thought WE were crazy! Haha, so fun!

"Y"

View from the pillars of the Mississippi! We almost got wet!

Karate Kid...ish?

Lost in Love

Such a cool tree!

Family shot!

Amazing street Jazz band!

And a foot massage to top it all off!

Kent and I started off the drive alternating about every four hours, while Ki caught up on some missing sleep. Then Ki took a turn and we recognized his true calling in life--doing anything that requires you to stay up for insane hours with a severe lack of sleep! Ki drove for something like 9 hours on Saturday non stop and with no problems! It was amazing! Not to mention he shaved quite a bit of time off our arrival time! Things were going splendid most of the day! Around 1 or 2am on Sunday morning, we decided to take a 24 mile, 30 minute detour to see the Four Corners (we've ALWAYS wanted to go there!) The best part: when we arrived, IT WAS CLOSED! Who knew? Apparently they are only open 8am-5pm, so for any of you ever hoping to see the Four Corners, go during business hours! We just laughed, took pictures by the closed sign, and continued our journey. 

THE FOUR CORNERS!!!! After hours, Ha!

I drove for a good part of the wee hours of the morning, until about Price, UT where it started snowing pretty hard. I pulled over and had Kent switch me once the roads started getting pretty packed. As we made our way past Price along Spanish Fork Canyon, the weather got intensely worse, until it was a full on blizzardy white out!!!! It was so bad that Kent was staying on the road only by trying to stay on the rumble strip; that way we could assume we were in the middle of the road and not too close to the looming drop-off that was way too close for comfort! Finally, we decided to say a prayer. Literally as I was finishing asking Heavenly Father to please guide us to know what to do so that we could return home in safety, and saying Amen, we noticed lights reflecting in our rear view windows!

We had been the ONLY car on the road....and I mean the ONLY car! But as we closed our prayer, this truck with 4WD and better lights than us came out of nowhere (straight from Heaven!) and passed us to let us follow them. We were so relieved to have company out there, and recognized the answer to our prayer, and the tender mercy of the Lord. After only about a tenth of a mile though, the weather worsened even further and both of our vehicles were forced to stop completely. We waited for about ten minutes, but then finally decided to call 911. We were stuck in the middle of the road and didn't want to risk a plow truck not seeing us in time or something like that! 911 thanked us for making them aware of the road conditions, and just told us to be careful! Eventually, after almost an hour, we were able to inch our ways forward until we reached the summit and a gas station were several semi trucks and other vehicles were stuck as well. We waited there awhile, until a few cars started making their ways down the canyon. So we decided to just take our time and follow the tracks that had been left. Going between 5-10 miles per hour, it ended up taking us nearly 4 hours to make it the 39 miles to I-15!!!! So close, but SO far!!!!! So instead of arriving home at our original time of 4:30 am, we got home just after 8am. But, we GOT home! We were grateful for Heavenly Father's guidance and protection. And looking back, what an adventure! Having made it home safe, we really did have a fun time...what better way to end a road trip of insanity anyway, right?

Yes, THIS is some of the blizzard we were in, and that is the truck that saved us!

So, just after 8am, Sunday morning, and here was the start to my Sunday of Sundays:

I unpacked, put dinner in a crockpot, showered, and got ready. I left for my 10 and 10:30am appointments for visiting teaching, then went to my 11am Ward missionary meeting/visits. At noon I met with a girl from my Ward to practice our musical number for that day, then went to Ward Choir. At 1, Church started, and I accompanied on the piano my friend who played the oboe for the musical number. I was then asked to help teach Sharing Time in Primary for 2nd and 3rd blocks, which I did and which went well. After Church, Kent and I had Temple Recommend Interviews, then headed home in time for Kent to head back out for a Scout meeting. I finished getting dinner ready, and then did a mad dash to get the house in some kind of order, just in time for my grandparents (Oma and Opa) and Kent's Grandmother and Granddad to come over for dinner! We had a wonderful visit with them, and after they left, I'm pretty sure I collapsed. We are both still recovering from a crazy awesome week last week. Sadly, since I work at Primary Children's with kids all day, and Kent has been substitute teaching with kids all day, we inevitably got sick this week. But we are recovering and having the time of our lives still. 

So, there you have it...yet another crazy adventure to add to our Wonderful Life together! Have a wonderful General Conference weekend everyone! I LOVE Conference and hearing the inspired words of our Prophet and those who serve with him! 

Trusting In The Lord With All My Heart

Last weekend was Kent's 28th birthday. On Friday we drove up to Idaho Falls and my sister Katelyn and I got our hair cut...Katelyn cut off 10 inches and donated it to Locks of Love! I got 5 or 6 inches off; fun change. Anyway, we stayed the night in Rexburg with Katelyn and Steve Friday night.

Our before shots

Katelyn, her new doo, and her old ponytail!

Saturday morning (Happy Birthday Kent!), we drove down to Idaho Falls to the LDS Family Services Agency, where we met Julianne and Shawn. Julianne was an expectant mother who found our profile online and contacted us about placing their baby with us. We had been emailing and texting a lot over the past month and decided a face to face meeting would be a great next step. I was very nervous on our way there, but the minute we walked in I felt great! They are both SO cute and SO sweet, and we hit it off right away! Kent asked them to show us some of their Kung Fu, and so they did! It was amazing! We met at the Agency for just over two hours. Kent did some of the Thriller dance and his Aladdin impersonations, Kent and I sang our song ("I Hope You Realize") together, and Kent sang a few of his other songs as well. 

At LDS Family Services with Shawn and Julianne, two amazing people that we have been blessed to meet! We love them now and always.

After our initial meeting, we decided to go to lunch at Red Robin. In total, there were seven of us: Me, Kent, Julianne, Shawn, their friend Savannah, and Katelyn and Steve. I made Kent's birthday cake and after we ate they brought it out for us and sang. Julianne and Shawn were awesome and got Kent a sweet Ninja card and balloons. We had a wonderful time getting to know each other. From there we all went bowling. After that the five of us (minus Katelyn and Steve) went to the Idaho Falls Temple and visited in the Visitor Center. We saw some amazing artwork of the Savior, which was a wonderful and Spiritual experience. We had an amazing time talking about the Gospel and just enjoying the Spirit of the day. It was amazing how right everything felt, and we all felt so at peace, knowing that Heavenly Father had brought us together. On our way home that night, Julianne texted us and said that they would be honored to place their baby with us. By Monday morning, our adoption profile was on firm hold, meaning we had been chosen!

Our birthday group: Kent, me, Katelyn, Steve, Shawn, Julianne, and her friend Savannah.

In honor of working towards becoming a High School Spanish Teacher, Kent's chalkboard cake, complete with a cupcake apple, frosted pencil with chocolate chip tip, Fudgee eraser, marshmallow chalk, and powdered sugar chalk dust!

Us with Kent's "Chalkboard cake"

"Apple?...No thank you...It's good...Okay." hehe

Katelyn and me with our travelling "sisterhood" lucky elephant ring...wishing Lyska was with us! 

Me and Kent with Julianne and Shawn, kindred spirits having a grand old time together!

Tuesday night we got a text from Julianne, so we called her and she was in tears. We talked with her and Shawn until 12:30am, after learning that she had started bleeding and was afraid she might be miscarrying. She had not yet been to the doctor, so we encouraged her to go in as soon as she could. She called me Wednesday mid-afternoon with the news: She had lost the baby. We were all devastated in different ways. Kent and I had from the very beginning decided to mentally and emotionally prepare ourselves for the possibility that something like this could happen. So although we were shocked and sad, we knew that it was just part of Heavenly Father's plan for all of us. We know that we were supposed to meet Julianne and Shawn, and we are so grateful that we were brought together the way we were. We had an amazing day with them on March 12th, and will cherish that day forever. We know that we will find our baby, hopefully soon, and that it truly is in the Lord's hands. We love Julianne and Shawn and know that this was out of any of our control. We think she was probably around 14-16 weeks along. Even though things felt so right with them, we know that these things happen for a reason. So we will continue in faith, adding this experience to the countless of others that we have had during this struggle to grow our family. 

Everyone has trials, and each trial is individually unique and difficult in a very different way. But the lesson is always the same: If we "Trust in the Lord with all (our) hearts, and lean not unto (our) own understanding," "He shall direct (our) paths." I have faith that the Lord is guiding us. It doesn't always make the pain of our struggle with infertility less, but knowing that if we can respond to this very emotional trial with faith, utilizing the power of Christ's Atonement, we will grow and become stronger. It has not been easy. In fact it continues to be a daily emotional and mental challenge for me to face. When we started all this it never crossed my mind that one of my most difficult trials would simply be trying to become a mother. I want to be a mother more than anything else and can't wait for the blessing of raising our children, whom I already love more than words can describe. I have cried so many tears and had so many days where I've just wanted to give up and stay in bed. But whenever I reach the end of my rope, the Tender Mercies of the Lord find a way to bless me in ways I never could have foreseen. I know it will continue to be hard, "If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard." But I am grateful for the lessons I continue to learn and for the strength the Lord is blessing me with daily. I rely on Him in every way. Prayer is my pillar of hope. The scriptures and the Temple, and Priesthood blessings are real and they are there for me and for you. I do not love this trial, but I love the lessons I am learning, and I love the person that Heavenly Father is helping me become.